spookybaby101

just. no.

I'm thinking of getting my boyfriend a promise ring…we've been together for the last two years now. Three of my friends are getting married and I just know he's never going to propose to me. And I'm not proposing to him, that's the man's job. I've just been depressed since the Anime Banzai and I just barely got over one of my emotional fits I have occasionally where I feel immense and sudden sadness. I just…don't know if he'll wear it…or even like it. I'm such a girly girl and I get excited over weddings and whatnot, I just doubt I myself will ever get a wedding of my own. I'm probably never going to amount to anything, I can't even get a job, I'm just a useless sack of flesh. I wouldn't blame him for never wanting to marry me….I don't even know why he's with me now. I know why I'M with HIM, but I don't know why he wants me. I feel lonely a lot and think he's ignoring me, but he's got an excuse every time I feel that way. Sometimes I really hate him. But I don't ever want to be with anyone besides him, and I don't give a scat about what anyone else says. I know who I want to be with whether they like it or not…and a lot of my friends and family don't like it, which kind of makes me a little more depressed b/c I would like for all my friends and family to at least accept him. So, yeah…I'm ranting to no one now. I do that. Rarely. But I just hate telling people my problems or why I feel sad, b/c I feel like I'm creating yet another problem and I think they deserve to not deal with that. But yeah, I'm thinking of getting a promise ring.
The end.

So, tomorrow is the first day of Anime Banzai 2012~ I don't really need to be there until later...until about noon-ish, b/c I'm in a panel there and it doesn't start until 2 ^^ I'm in the Pandora Hearts Panel as Alice! Yay me~ ^w^/ I hope I can be a good Alice and remember everything for the questions ^^' Then on Saturday, I'm going to be Sabrina from Pokemon (the show), then on Sunday (if I even go) Imma be Sabrina from Pokemon FireRed/LeafGreen <3 So that'll be fun~ I even made the costumes myself with a little help from my grandma since it was my first time making a cosplay xD I'll take lots of pictures :3 so expect there to be cosplay pics soon. Well, I gotta go finish putting things together and making sure everything looks nice~ so toodle-loo <3



<3/
Jess

So I figured I'd write down all the cosplays I wants to do xD so here they are, starting with the Vocaloids:
IA :: Vocaloid3
Yuzuki Yukari :: "
Alice Human Sacrifice Kaito :: Vocaloid
Requiem Kaito :: "
Kaiko :: "
Ryoumou :: Ikki Tousen
Reika :: Goshuushou-sama Ninomiya-kun
Mizore :: Rosario+Vampire
Isabella :: Paradise Kiss
Sona :: LoL
Ahri :: "
Ada :: Resident Evil
Shouko :: Baka and Test
Tsugumi :: Guilty Crown
Sawako :: Kimi ni Todoke
Mio :: K-ON!
GLADoS :: Portal (the short black-hair one)
Soi Fon :: Bleach
Shirakiin :: Inu X Boku SS
Kaoru :: Rurouni Kenshin
Dead Master :: B*RS
Amber Sweet :: Repo! The Genetic Opera
Necromancer :: Kore wa Zombie Desu ka?
Yin :: Darker Than Black
Chiana :: Farscape
V-13/Nu :: BlazBlue
Noel :: "
Panty :: Panty and Stocking
Belarus :: APH
Flandre Scarlet :: Touhou
Wang Yuan Ji :: Dynasty Warriors
A.B.A. :: Guilty Gear
Yoko :: Gurren Lagann
Shana :: Shakugan no Shana
Mea :: Popotan
Yuno Gasai :: Future Diary (In her black dress)
Ritzia :: Dawn of Mana
Heroine :: Amnesia JP
Tira :: Soul Calibur III
Pilot :: Romantically Apocalyptic
Jesse :: Pokemon
Lovrina :: "
Lyra :: "
Touko :: "
White2/Mei :: "
Green :: "
Sabrina :: " (This is planned for this year actually :3)
Elesa :: "
Jolteon :: "
Lilligant :: "
Krookodile :: "
Queen Chrysalis :: MLP

And I think that's all for now xD I know...I have a lot...

Hiya minna~ been a while I guess ^^' anywho...I wonder who reads these -.-
For the Anime Banzai this year, I probably won't be able to be Sabrina, b/c I spent about 100 monies on Cameron's birthday, so I has no money left to get any fabric for it xD and I'm trying to save up for various other things that are uber expensive. Like a dayum driver's license. Plus, I really want a computer (not just a laptop) so I can play the PC games I have (like Amnesia for example). It just doesn't quite work with a laptop. Then I want a drawing tablet for the computer I just bought. That'd be sweet sauce. Aaaaand I want an awesome telescope. Not one of those cheap, all the stars are blurry, telescopes. They're pretty espenseev...then I need to get myself an xBox, since the stupid grandchildren broke the other one (and so I don't have to share with them so they can make it filthy and all covered in food again). But yeah, there's some of the stupid expensive crap I want. LICENSE COMES FIRST! I don't really have to worry about the car, b/c my grandparents said if I can get a license, they'll buy me the car xD well, gosh, make me feel all spoiled. After all that, Imma get a house...or at least rent something :3 It seems my one problem is that no one will hire me ._. I've applied to all the places I can apply to...once I get a license, I can go farther, but until then, I'm limited. And it just seems like no one wants to hire me. I feel so useless ;_________; I had gotten one job, but they hire EVERYONE (no joke). But I had to quit that one b/c I was mooching off my friend for a ride to the office, and I'm not really a sales person anyway. The pay was great, but I'm just not cut out for that type of job ;-; I'm not that good with people (not really unless my friends are with me/I'm pretty outgoing then...).
ANYWAY, enough complaining from me, I don't do that often (I hate complaining b/c I feel like I'm pushing my problems onto someone else. And I feel needy and even more useless).
It seems like everyone likes my watercolour Hypno picture here ^^ that makes me happy...and reminds me I need to buy a watercolour set =____=
OH, OH I also actually finished a couple videos I was in such a mood to make some Pandora Hearts videos, I made two in two days (one each day xD) it's kinda rare for me to make many videos ^^' if you want to see them, they're on youtube and my username is StrawBerryZombi :3 I hope you like them.
Anyhow...I'll try to post more shtuffs on here o.o' until then~



<3/
Razz